My prayer has been answered in time. Ted and I found a new place to stay. Over the last weekend, I was in agony, feeling anxious and panicked that I could end up living in the car if I could not find a place to move into. Quite a few people told me I should take my friend’s offer and find someone else who could look after Ted for a while until I set up myself and I could have Ted back. However, I could not do that. It was too cruel to Ted and me. I could not separate from my dog. He is all I have. I am everything to him. Ted needs me. I need him particularly in going through hard times like this. If I did not have Ted, if I were all alone, I doubt I would have survived this long..
So this place is up in the northern area of Sydney. I have known this area, but I am not familiar. It seems isolated, yet I am aware I have no other options.
Trying to look for positive sides:
- There is a train station, which would make a trip to the city a lot easier
- I am getting closer to my two close friends
- The suburb is close to Eastwood, where a big Korean community is established
- The place has a yard for Ted to run around
I guess these will be enough to be hopeful about moving into this new place.
I have not looked at the place itself yet. It is getting renovated to make it more liveable as the place has been vacant for a long period of time by the sounds of it. Then I have made three requests: bathroom heating on the ceiling, wardrobe, and a doggy door for Ted.
At the same time, I am getting worried. Is the place going to be safe as I will be living on the ground floor? Will I like the place? (yet, I still have no other option..) What does this moving mean to me? As it feels like going backwards for some reasons..
At least, things worked out well for me. I am grateful that things were put together in the end. I will have a roof over our heads. I will not be hammered by the agent’s calls every morning whenever the rent payment becomes behind. This all matters to me at the moment.
Getting out of this place, getting out of bad memories, and starting all over again in a new place, this will do for me. It is a pity that I have to re-establish everything again though. Does this mean what I have established for the last 10 years became nothing? Did I lose everything? Pretty much. I am getting old yet, did I waste the last 10 year of my life? I am not sure.
At least, I have a place to stay. This is the most important thing to me right now.